Linux is like a wigwam. No windows, no
gates, apache inside!
Linux -- the Ultimate Windows Service Pack
The manual said the program requires Windows 95 or better,
so I installed Linux
(The box said "Windows 95, Windows NT 4.0 or better", so
i installed Linux.)
This is Linux country. On a quiet night, you can hear NT
"Microsoft is to quality software what McDonalds is to gourmet
Hiroshima 45, Tsjernobyl 86, Windows 95
Windows 98 supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash
Your mouse has moved. Windows must be restarted.
[ OK ] [Reboot] [Yes]
``I entered the office and tossed my hat at the coat rack.
It missed, hit the heater, and instantly burst into flames.
That reminded me: I had some work to do in Windows.'' -- Lincoln
Spector "The Maltese Penguin"
click to enlarge
``I hated the operating system; it was a complete
and utter kludge, and the whole bloody design was just a mess.
I wouldn't go anywhere near it.'' -- Sir Clive Sinclair on
the IBM PC, ``Wired''
``Windows 95: from the guys who brought you EDLIN''
|**** IS WINDOWS TOO BORING? ****
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|``Bill Gates, brilliant? Really? Uh-huh [Ellison
laughs for several seconds].'' -- Oracle CEO Larry Ellison,
interviewed in Forbes ASAP
M.C.Mar An NT server can be run by an idiot,
and usually is. firstname.lastname@example.org
People who think MSDOS & Windows are the slickest thing since
sliced butter should be forced to wear a sign stating "This
mind intentionally left blank";^}
This is your brain:
This is your brain on drugs:
Starting Windows 95 ...
Windows 95 isn't CrippleWare -- it's "Functionally Challenged".
"Friends don't let friends do MS-DOS"
Microsoft - because god hates us
The latest stable version of MS DOS is: MS DOS 5.0
The latest beta version of MS DOS is: Windows 98SE
The latest prepatch (alpha) version of MS DOS *appears* to
be: Windows ME
About MS-DOS: "... an OS originally designed for a microprocessor
that modern kitchen appliances would sneer at...." - Dave
Trowbridge, _Computer Technology Review_, Aug 90
Windows 98 (win-doze): a 32 bit Extension to a 16 bit Graphical
Shell of an 8 bit Operating System originally coded for a
4 bit Processor by a 2 bit company that can't stand one bit
|"Bill Gates and Richard Stallman Meet in Airport;
Thousands Killed in Resulting Explosion. News at 11."
Shine A Light
Q: How many Windows users does it take to change a light
A: Two. One to screw in the bulb, and another to install
shine2000.exe, shine2000.sys, lightbulb2000.exe, bright2000.sys,
bulb-replace.com and update the socket BIOS.
Thomas A. Edison
Bill Gates went up to heaven and was met by St. John. Seeing
how he was so important, St. John gave him the option to go
to Heaven or to Hell. Bill Gates said, "What are they like?"
St. John shows him Heaven, which is very nice with green fields
and luxurious houses. Only you can't drink. Bill Gates asks
to see Hell so St. John shows him and it is exactly the same
except that you can drink. So Bill Gates says, "I'll go to
Hell then" About a month later St. John returns to see how
he is getting on and Bill Gates is working in the furnaces
sweating and wishing he could drink anything let alone alcohol.
He says to St. John, "Hell is nothing like what you showed
me!" St. John replies, "Well, that was only the demo version"