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The Top 10 Worst Movies Ever - Avoid at all cost!

An alternative: DVD-films you should own!

xXx State Of The Union

But why is it bad?
Cause it's sooo stupid it hurts looking at this stuff - and even the action sequences are crap - what can be worse for an action movie?
But is there anything good in it?
Zilch. Zero. Nada. Nothing.

Director: Lee Tamahori

Cast:
Ice Cube, Samuel L. Jackson, Willem Dafoe, Scott Speedman, Peter Strauss

The sequel to xXx with Vin Diesel - which wasn't a great movie, but at least it didn't suck. Like this sequel. Which does suck. Big time! Let's just hope there will never be a xXx 3 ....

   

 

Sense and Sensibility

But why is it bad?
Because it is just plain boring! (Sorry, Karin)
But is there anything good in it?
Not that i knew of.

Director: Ang Lee

Cast: James Fleet, Tom Wilkinson, Harriet Walter, Kate Winslet, Emma Thompson, Gemma Jones, Hugh Grant, Emilie Francois, Elizabeth Spriggs, Robert Hardy, Ian Brimble, Isabelle Amyes, Alan Rickman, Greg Wise, Alexander John

The movie to the Jane Austen book. Don't faint, they do it on the screen - but you might miss it in case you are already asleep.

   

 

Pret-a-porter (Ready To Wear)

But why is it bad?
Because it has no plot
But is there anything good in it?
Only when you are a fashion-geek or you want to see some top-models nude on the catwalk.

Director: Robert Altman

Cast: Tim Robbins, Julia Roberts, Marcello Mastroianni, Sophia Loren, Kim Basinger, Rupert Everett, Ute Lemper, Forest Whitaker, Jean-Paul Gaultier, Tatjana Patiz, Cher, Thierry Mugler and many others ....

Despite a lot of good actors and actresses, this movie is simply a disaster - there is no plot except some rather funny episodes with Tim Robbins and Julia Roberts, but if you are not too eager to glimpse some nude models (at the end of the movie), stay clear of this movie!

   

 

Rob Roy

But why is it bad?
Think of Braveheart without the action scences.
But is there anything good in it?
Don't know - at least i didn't notice.

Director: Michael Caton-Jones

Cast: Liam Neeson, Jessica Lange, John Hurt, Tim Roth, Eric Stoltz, Andrew Keir, Brian Cox, Brian McCardie, Gilbert Martin, Vicki Masson, Gilly Gilchrist, Jason Flemyng, Ewan Stewart, David Hayman, Brian McArthur

Sorry, Liam, but this movie is no match to Braveheart - it's 139 minutes feel like 200, and you just can't wait till it's over.

 

 

   

 

No Escape

But why is it bad?
It's dull, it's boring ... is that enough?
But is there anything good in it?
Some nice action scenes - and if you really love trash, you might like this movie.

Robbins (Liotta) is sent to prison for assassinating his commanding officer. It is a prison nobody ever got out from, runned by a private company, and the worst inmates are brought to an island (Absolom), where there are two fractions - the barbaric, cannibalistic "Outsiders", and the "good" "Insiders" lead by "Father" (Lance Henriksen) .....

Director:
Mark Campbell

Cast: Ray Liotta, Lance Henriksen, Stuart Wilson, Kevin Dillon, Kevin J. O'Connor, Tom Laughlin, Ian McNeice, Jack Shepherd, Michael Lerner, Ernie Hudson, Russell Kiefel, Brian M. Logan

 

 

If you like to watch some cheap
action trash, buy the DVD

 

   

 

Street Fighter

But why is it bad?
Imagine Jean-Claude Van Damme as an extremely right-wing UN-officer who'd rather let hundreds of hostages be killed than negotiating with the baddie.
But is there anything good in it?
Raul Julia kicking Jean-Claude's butt.

What you get is what you might expect from a movie about a computer-game ..... except you maybe didn't expect this nazi-like speech from Van Damme: " ..... &%$§$% that UN-cowards who negotiate with terrorists! §%&"% that hostages! §$§$$%! that "§%!§$%" orders from your commanding officers! Who is coming with me and kicking some b&%$?" - "YYYYYEAAAHHHH!!!"

Director:
Steven E. De Souza

Starring:
Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Kylie Minogue ....

 

only for hardcore Jean-Claude
van Damme Fans ... it's bad
even for a van Damme movie ....

   

 

The Glimmer Man

But why is it bad?
Cause it is even below the usual Steven Seagal standards.
But is there anything good in it?
Might be good medicine for insomnia!

Steven Seagal is a police detective hunting a serial killer. One of the victims is his ex-wife, and Seagal is considered a suspect. And he does some Buddhist or other spiritual mumbo-jumbo which is totally believeable .... ... not ......and he wears that really fine necklace ......

Director: John Gray

Starring:
Steven Seagal, Keenen Ivory Wayans, and others

 

You don't want to go out to watch
this - but maybe you want to get it on DVD
and watch with friends at a party?

   

 

Event Horizon

But why is it bad?
Cause the whole movie does not make any sense at all.
But is there anything good in it?
Unfortunately, nope.

In the year 2047 a rescue team is sent to investigate and salvage the EVENT HORIZON, a spaceship which disappeared 7 years ago and now mysteriously re-appeared. Soon, strange and frightening things happen - something alien is on board, the original crew has been killed, and now, the rescue team is being decimated ....

Director: Paul Anderson

Cast: Laurence Fishburn, Sam Neill, Kathleen Quinlan, Joely Richardson

 

   

 

Sphere

But why is it bad?
Cause despite the top cast, the whole movie does not make any sense at all.
But is there anything good in it?
Unfortunately, nope.

1000 feet below the ocean, an alien spaceship is found. A team of scientists is employed to investigate, and after they enter the sphere, strange and frightening things happen .... think Event Horizon under water.

Director: Barry Levinson

Cast: Sharon Stone, Dustin Hoffmann, Samuel L. Jackson, Peter Coyote

 

   

 

Showgirls

But why is it bad?
It's not only bad - it's rightous embarrasing!
But is there anything good in it?
YES, it features Gina Gershon!

A girl from the province will do it all to become a famous Showgirl in Las Vegas - played by an actress who will do it all to become famous ....

Directed by Paul Verhoeven
Cast
Elizabeth Berkley .... Nomi Malone
Kyle MacLachlan .... Zack Carey
Gina Gershon .... Cristal Connors

 

   

 

Batman and Robin

But why is it bad?
There are a lot of stars in this movie - and it seems like everyone of them is playing in a movie of their own. And it is cut so fast you'll get dizzy soon - which is not necessarily a bad thing with this movie ....
But is there anything good in it?
Might be. But i was too dizzy to discover it in case it was there.

Batman and Robin and Batgirl (Alicia Silverstone - she should have lost a bit of weight before putting on that dress!) fight Mr. Freeze (one of Arnold Schwarzeneggers worst performances) and Poison Ivy.

Directed by Joel Schumacher
Cast
Arnold Schwarzenegger .... Mr. Freeze/Dr. Victor Fries
George Clooney .... Batman/Bruce Wayne
Chris O'Donnell .... Robin/Richard 'Dick' Grayson
Uma Thurman .... Poison Ivy/Dr. Pamela Isley
Alicia Silverstone .... Batgirl/Barbara Wilson

 

  Better to read this really great comic book than to watch that movie!
   

 

RESIDENT EVIL

But why is it bad?
It is just stupid, stupid, stupid, and boring, boring, boring!
But is there anything good in it?
Yep, if you like to watch Milla Jovovich!

Milla Jovovich and a bunch of expendable soldiers go into the Hive to find out what happened there (a deadly virus was set free that turns humans - and dogs - into undead zombies).
There is some shooting and some dumb zombie-action, and the characters act so stupid that they actually deserve to die!

Directed by Paul Anderson
Cast
Milla Jovovich .... Alice
Michelle Rodriguez .... Rain
Eric Mabius .... Matt
James Purefoy .... Spence
Pasquale Aleardi .... J.D.
Stephen Billington .... Mr. White
Anna Bolt .... Dr. Green